One of Eleven

A few months ago I got an inbox message from someone at Meta.

They'd seen my groups. They wanted to talk about my leadership, about what I've built. And they asked if I'd be interested in flying out to California to tour the campus and talk with them one-on-one.

I said absolutely.

Last week I was in Menlo Park walking around the Meta campus with ten other group admins. Let me put that in perspective. There are an estimated 30 million groups on Facebook. They invited 11 of us.

I was one of 11.

I was also the only Black man in the room. The only queer person. I say that because it means something to me. They saw me. They saw what I've been building with Private Pay Practitioners, the Black PPP group, the Georgia group, my Seattle therapist exchange. And they thought I had something worth sharing.

I'm not a tech person. I never imagined Meta calling me. Being in a room that wasn't designed for me, being asked what I think, that means a whole hell of a lot.

Alone in Palo Alto

I got there the afternoon before. No activities were setup and there was no meet and greet. So I took advantage of my time and explored Palo Alto, where the hotel was located. Didn't know a soul. I took a stroll around the Stanford campus, walked around the neighborhood and saw the shops. I ate dinner by myself, next to the pool.

The next day my world opened up.

I met ten incredible people. One of them might become a real friend. He's from Georgia. We went to the same undergrad. What a small word. He’s not a therapist. He’s a hiker!

We were the only two men there, so we stuck together, and we had a blast.

That's the part nobody tells you about these things. The agenda matters, but the people matter more.

The campus at Menlo Park

Y'all. This place is something like a million square feet. Multiple buildings, each with its own lobby. Food everywhere, and nobody pays for any of it. There's an arcade. A barber shop. A nail

salon. There was a mobile dentist in the parking lot. No wonder nobody goes home. I say that in jest, but I have worked with a lot of tech folks and know just how much they work.

But I will say this: everyone at Meta treated us well.

What we actually talked about

We sat in a conference room and heard what's happening with Facebook groups, where it's expanding, and what tools are coming. Some of the admins in that room were already using features the rest of us had never seen. That was eye-opening.

And we talked about the thing every group admin wants to talk about: monetization.

Here's the reality. The creators were there that same day, the ones collecting checks from Meta for views and eyeballs. Group admins? We don't get compensated. What I've built, I've monetized

myself, through what I offer you all. My coaching business runs across four or five platforms, and I told them straight: it would be a lot easier if it were one or two.

Every admin in that room said something similar. We want the tools to run our groups better. And a lot of us want to be able to compensate our moderators without it coming out of our own

pockets. Facebook makes a ton of money. We're small businesses.

The wild part: there were engineers in the room. I'd say "this doesn't work," and they'd say "report it, " and they'd be on it. Right then. They were invested in helping us help our members.

They showed us some things coming down the pipe. I can't share details, NDAs and all. Some of it might be a game changer for certain groups. Some of it, I told them honestly, I didn't see the point of. The person next to me said, "Oh my god, that would change everything for my group." That's what I liked about the room. Different objectives, similar heart.

Why I'm telling you this

Here's what I keep coming back to.

I tell you all the time: tell your truth. To yourself, to your clients, to your colleagues. Let people know who you are. It makes it easier for the right people to show up, and it lets them know you

mean business.

That's what I did at Meta. I showed up as myself, said what I actually thought, and let them know I'm passionate about this community, and I'm going to keep building it. I just want the tools to do it well.

I never imagined a tech company would fly me across the country because of a Facebook group I started for therapists. But that's what happens when you build something real, and you don't

shrink yourself to fit in rooms.

Keep telling your truth. You never know who's listening.

I am here if you need me.