Before You Say Yes to That "Opportunity": 3 Questions to Ask Yourself
Therapists get asked to do free or low-cost work constantly. Speak at this event. Contribute to this project. Join this panel. Write this article.
And because we're helpers by nature, our default is yes. We want to give. We want to be generous. We want to "get our name out there."
But not every opportunity is actually an opportunity. Some of them are just obligations dressed up in networking clothes.
Here's what I want you to consider the next time one of these requests lands in your inbox.
1. Is this in alignment with my personal and professional values?
Not "does this sound good on paper" or "would this impress people" - but does this actually align with what matters to YOU?
If you value family time and this event is on a Saturday, that's a conflict. If you value financial sustainability and this opportunity pays nothing while costing you money, that's a conflict. If you value working with a specific population and this audience is completely outside your niche, that's a conflict.
Values alignment isn't a nice-to-have. It's the filter.
2. Will my ideal clients potentially benefit from what I'm going to share - even if none of them schedule with me?
This is the generosity check. Sometimes we do things not because they'll directly bring us clients, but because the content genuinely helps people we care about helping.
That's valid. That's service.
But be honest: Is YOUR ideal client in that room (or reading that article, or listening to that podcast)? Or are you saying yes because you feel obligated, flattered, or guilty?
If your ideal clients will never see it and it won't serve your actual mission, it's not generosity. It's people-pleasing.
3. Will this cause me undue stress - mentally, spiritually, or financially? Will I have to compromise my stability to make it make sense?
This is the one we skip. We tell ourselves we can "make it work." We minimize the cost - financial and otherwise.
But if saying yes means:
Losing income from canceled client sessions
Paying out of pocket for travel or materials
Adding stress to an already full plate
Resenting the commitment before it even happens
...then you're not being generous. You're self-abandoning.
Sustainability isn't selfish. You cannot pour from an empty practice.
The Bottom Line
These three questions won't tell you what to do. But they'll help you make a decision you can live with - one that's actually yours, not driven by guilt, obligation, or the fear of missing out.
And here's what most people won't say out loud: On occasion, when I decide to do something for free, it's usually my idea.
That changes everything.
What's your filter for evaluating "opportunities"? I'd love to hear what works for you.
